Lesson of the Week

Under 3: Listening OR Watching

As adults, we are used to listening while we work. My favorite way to clean house is with a podcast playing. Our brains are capable of doing both at once. Children under three can not do this - they can watch OR listen, but they have a hard time integrating both at the same time.

Think about a classic library story time where the librarian reads a book to the group: first listen to the words, then look at the pictures. You know how in certain children’s shows the main character will ask the children in the audience a question, and then pause for a long time while nothing on screen moves? Dora the Explorer might be creepily staring, but she is following child development by understanding that if she kept moving, young children would struggle to answer. They need stillness in order to process what she said. (Note: The American Academy of Pediatrics does not recommend any screen time for children under 2. I love Dora, but I’m not endorsing her. :)

Around 4 years old, neurotypical children develop the ability to combine visual and auditory attention. Until that happens, there will be a processing delay while their brains work to figure out if they should watch or listen, which slows down their understanding.

What does this mean for how we interact with children?

• Go slowly, giving them ample time to respond.

• Choose keywords instead of full sentences. (“Plate” instead of “Don’t forget your plate for snack!”)

• If your hands are moving, your mouth is not. 

• If your mouth is moving, your hands are not.

Move slowly through the motions you are asking them to imitate. This gives their brains time to process what you are doing and follow along. Using keywords allows them to still grow their vocabulary while being able to think about what to do next on their own, at their own pace. Being careful to show the movements or explain what to do, but only one at a time, respects where they are in their development and gives them an opportunity to respond.

This is not an easy switch to make. I fail at it every single day. Going slow is hard! Moving OR speaking is very hard. Start by just noticing what you do naturally, and see if you can focus on following these principles for one interaction a day. You may be surprised by the difference it makes!